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Submitted on
October 1, 2013
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57 (who?)
You have endured so many storms that you became one.

Your mother was a tsunami.
Her emotions came in waves
and crashed down on you like
“this is all your fault”.
Her high-tide flooded your basement.
There’s water damage in your roots.
She taught you how to swim when you were five years old,
but somehow you’ve been drowning for seventeen years.
You once told me that you hid all the knives in your house
so that the waves wouldn’t carry them away.

Your father was a thunderstorm.
His voice shook your house so much,
I could have almost sworn that you lived by train tracks.
His thought clouds
generated enough electricity to light up your neighborhood.
When his lightning cracked you’d count
“one Mississippi
two Mississippi”
to see how far away his hand was from your face
before the friction in his bones was too much for him to bear.

You have endured so many storms that you became one.

You are an earthquake,
and my heart is your San Andreas Fault line.
You send tremors down my spine and
into my lungs so it feels like I’m drowning
when I’m really just living.
You make my lightning bolt veins shake like Tokyo and Hong Kong.
Your outbursts break apart my fingers like layers of earth so they can fit between yours.
Your fingertips direct tempests towards my temporal lobe
and tap into every memory I’ve made since second grade.
You’re the only boy I’ve ever met
who has simultaneously survived
windstorms and whirlwinds
and caused them, too.

My mother was a forest fire and my father was a train wreck so
I understand your lineage.
It’s like my own.
I became a hurricane,
a tropical storm,
so something about me would be of topical interest to you.
I’ve flooded attics overnight and you’ve swallowed cities whole.
Yet, were both just two evacuees looking for relocation.
Naturally, we’re disasters.
But it is said that “after a storm comes a calm”
Last night you told me that you see sunshine in my smile

We have both endured so many storms that we became one,
but together we can become so much more than just a disaster
You've created a monsoon in my mind and a tempest in my rib-cage.
PS. This is a very very rough draft and it needs a lot of improvement. I have no idea how to end it, but the end needs to be different, I think. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
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SilverInkblot Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there! I've used the title of this piece in a poem for my Found Poetry Project Heart
FieryDownpour479 Nov 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, this is a wonderful extended metaphor! Probably one of the best ones I've ever read. It's really wonderfully crafted and leaves a rather large impact when you read it. It's very beautiful!

Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here dailylitdeviations.deviantart.…

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.

PeppermintPictures Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That's awesome, thank you!
I love this poem so much believe me, but I feel like you could cut the fist line and the repeat of it in the middle and jump right into the metaphors because the last line sort of repeats that and it feels unnecessary and redundant. 

Other than that this is by far one of the BEST pieces I've read on deviantart. Never stop writing! ♥
PeppermintPictures Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I definitely agree that there needs to be some editing. Thanks for the feedback! I'm so glad you liked it :)
You're welcome! (:
Sleyf Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi! :wave:
Congratulations!  This piece has been chosen as a feature in our Weekly Round-up! hooray!

Thanks for writing it and choosing to submit to us too :heart:
From the Admin Team
PeppermintPictures Oct 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, thanks! 
Sleyf Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're welcome
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